In my loneliness, I sleep too much.
In my loneliness, I daydream too much.
In my loneliness, I read too much even things that I shouldn’t read.
In my loneliness, million of thoughts rushing through my head.
In my loneliness, I somehow become prayerful.
In my loneliness, I find my splendor.
Seeing myself as a grown-up, I have learned the meaning of INDEPENDENCE for I know I cannot be with my parents/siblings for the rest of my life. I have to find my path to survive. In my thirties, there are times, I want to hide under the wings of my parents; I want my father to forever comfort me with his soothing words; I want my mom to always provide delectable dish on my table. Yet, those are just wishes. . . I have to live on my own. Somehow, I began to see the perks of being lonely.
Fear & Worry
The annoying part of being lonely is to face fears and worries that keep haunting me; I fear thief, rapist, intruder, unknown guest. I worry what will I eat tomorrow, what should I cook, where to buy groceries or many more.
Money will never be a problem if people know how to manage it. That’s why I have to be wise in spending. I love the art of shopping; it’s always be awesome, yet it’s also dangerous if I can’t control my shopping habit. Recently, I moved to house that is not fully furnished. I started purchasing primary stuff, such as, bed & bedding, wardrobe, dining table, fridge, and more stuff just to furnish the house. I had to spend some dimes from my saving. Besides, I also have to learn how to pay my bill–electricity, water, etc, Anyway, paying the bill contains loads of excitement. Sounds weird?
Skills of Entertaining
Having a place to stay, I need to establish skills of entertaining guests. When students knock on my door, I should welcome them, at least, providing little delicacy on the table. There are times I need to set a date to invite friends to come to my house; my mom has trained us (my siblings & I) to let the house open for others, but being aware of strangers should still be my concern.
First and foremost, being ‘ME-SELF’ is splendid; it’s indescribable. I have more time to be grateful of my blessings, time to judge my weak-self, time to shed tears, time to ponder about life, and the most important thing time to be more prayerful. I guess this is the stage where I get to know myself better. . . Yes, I guess.
Conclusively, being alone isn’t that scary like what people think; I realized that it brings unique joy into my soul. I am learning to value the splendor of my loneliness.
Well, this is just an update of my intriguingly unique life.