My husband and I delight in each other’s flaws, groove on our heart-lifting music, revel in our wondrous imagination, savor each other’s aroma of anger, and even rejoice in paying bills. We are literally enjoying our ‘the two of us’ moments and will always be . . . until one moment my husband popped a question, “I want a baby, sayang!” Spontaneously I answered, “What? A puppy?” We both laughed then stayed silent, pondering.
Indeed, in marriage, like most people say, when no little angel appears to ignite our spirit, work seems useless; time seems vague; money seems wasted, and life becomes dull. I guess behind those happy-couple scenes we have at home, we are apparently at this dull stage. Empty.
I can honestly say that my heart gets disturbed every time I receive these very common questions and statements over and over from relatives, friends, co-workers, or even acquaintances:
- Are you expecting?
I have no idea of how to answer this questions. At all!
- Don’t delay having a child. You’re not getting younger!
This question literally gives me goosebumps. That’s why I evidently dislike my birthday month to approach soon.
- What don’t you go and check yourself to a doctor. Who knows you might have ‘rubelia’ or ‘tokso’?
Oh, Okay. I could only give them a nod. Later after a year passed by, my husband and I went to a doctor for a check-up. We were found healthy and normal. Amen.
- So any sign yet? Don’t worry, just be patient. It will come soon. I’ll put you in my prayer.
This kind of statement actually soothes me. I hope those persons intentionally put me in their prayer list.
It is normal for a newly wed couple to receive those kinds of questions or statements. Those people have the right to ask, suggest, or advise us because at the end of the day, they just want us to be happy.What more important is my reaction towards those questions or statements. Generally women get so down when they are asked about pregnancy so many times. I personally feel that way. There are times my mind entertains unhealthy thoughts, ‘How if we wouldn’t be blessed with a child?’; ‘How if I bore abnormal child at this very critical age?’; ‘Would my husband be forever happy if we had no child?’ This reaction of me is totally nonsensical. I should clear all those negative thoughts from my mind and fill my mind with hope and faith.
Until one day my husband and I stumbled upon a book that inspired us to cling unto the absolute truth’s providence. It said that a child is bestowed not to make parents happy, neither for parents’ show, yet a child will be given to mold one’s character; however, if a person grows in genuine character of Christ, with or without a child he or she will be forever graceful.
While I look forward for what might lie ahead in my future, I have learned to savor all that I have in the meantime: I have students to take care of, knowledge to share, books to masticate, house to dwell, and a husband to spend my time with.
The silence broke and that baby-puppy feelings continued. My husband surprisingly said, “Let’s just buy a puppy, then.”
I smiled and replied, “Don’t buy; just ask someone who has a pregnant dog to give one of the babies to us.”
“Who would do that?” He said.
“Let’s hope and wait for it.” I giggled.
“You’re not really serious of having a puppy, right?”
I hugged him and whispered, “Wait until we have a baby, okay?” I grinned.
We ended our baby-puppy feelings with one deep conclusion that through marriage, we witness the true meaning of life which is commitment. With or without a child, once we are committed to each other and God, we are absolutely fine.
So allow me to share this with confidence, ‘Ladies out there who might experience the same feelings as I. Cheers! This is life and embrace it. Do not lament ourselves. Stand up and do our part. Let’s not question the life we have yet let’s question what we have given to life.’