Carve Out My Time

My husband and I have been hovering around how-our-life-should-be topic. We both have jam-packed deadlines that we need to settle. We even barely have time for vacation. Until one moment, we finally admitted that we were quiet stressed out and sort of feeling disconnected with the authentication of life. So I decided to refocus and regain my true-self so that I wouldn’t have mental tension.

Mindful Reading

Recently, I’ve carved out my time to read something mindful that soothes my inner soul. First thing first, I began with Bible Meditation. It’s not a usual meditation where a person would just read silently and pray. What I do is to have self-discussion, make one-week commitment, and learn more on God’s promises. Through meditation, I feel less stressful as I start my day off. It helps me also enhance my work efficiency. Let me tell you something ‘all knowledge come from Bible’; it’s true! I gain lots of teaching inspirations after communicating with my God. Aside from reading the Bible, I monthly bought Reader’s Digest, an easy-to-bring magazine. Whenever I have spare time, I will find time reading it.

 Do Little Things I Love

I’ve always loved doing simple yet exciting activities, such as, decluttering my reading space, walking my dog, and filling out my cookies jar. I dedicate my evening doing one of those things, giving myself permission to feel contented and passionate. It will definitely reenergize my mind.

Stay active

It’s hard to stay active during rainy season. Yet I am determined that I should get sweat every single day; I should stay active to spike my endorphin so that I gain physical benefits from it. Hence whenever it rains, I try to find activity that can make me sweat, namely, walking around the house while playing flute. Darn . . . it’s quite tiring.

Indulge in Something

Probably you don’t want to copy this from me. In handling feeling of uninspired, I, once awhile, indulge myself in something that I’ve recently enjoyed doing which is online shopping. Not buying a fancy stuff, though. It’s sort of skin care products to pamper my soon-to-be-40 skin. Anyway, it’s undeniable that lately women love the science behind skin care.

Know My Priority

What is my priority? This is the biggest question that I’ve been asking myself. I tend to lose focus on what my priority is. Reflecting back, I wasn’t gentle with myself for I had been chasing something that was actually not my priority. I was preoccupied with something huge that I wanted to have. Now it’s time to get back on my real priority which is molding my character to be selfless, making time to enrich my soul by filling myself with kindness, generosity, and affection.

Carving out my time gives me more life purpose and greater sense of fulfillment. I’m indeed purposeful to always carve out my time to something more meaningful. Lately I feel unburden and life seems a bit lighter.

Absolute Shelter

Earth is not an absolute shelter;
look around and observe
this world is getting worse;
no peaceful land that one can reserve.

Heaven is the absolute shelter
for the righteous to live in;
where peace and love transcends,
misery and distress fades away.

Those who choose to dwell in earth,
shall gain no eternal wealth,
but those who choose to be in heaven,
shall receive the righteous land.

OBJECT-FOCUSED PERSON

It’s inevitable that I live in the world where windows, doors, trees, building, walls and food have become people’s favorite spots for picture-taking. In the past I had never taken picture next to a large window or a huge door that might accentuate my looks and outfits; I had never thought of capturing the food I was about to eat so that people would notice what I munch; I had never leaned on a colorful wall, of course. Anyway those things had never occurred to me, at all.

What this world has turned me into is something that I need to be aware of. I’m living in a world where the Millennials are all around. They are creative, fun, energetic, savvy, and a lot more to describe about them. One thing that caught my attention about them is they are object-focused person. Put it this way, to give more evidence, a famous actress posts a picture of her in a hotel room, the next day you’ll see lots of Millennials stay in that room. Young people hunt for great-capturing objects to be shown to their viewers, wanting to get so many likes and comments.

I guess I have been part of what’s trending; whenever I travel to some places, my eyes will roam around, trying to capture unique and eye-catching spots or objects. At first, I wasn’t aware of this sort of desire; I didn’t question myself why my focus was the object not the memory of being in that place. Until one moment I rummaged photos in my album and found out that I mostly captured objects or posed in unnecessary spots. Since then I realize I have actually ‘become’ object-focused person. Social media has made lots of changes into this world. People’s minds have been diverted into something unexplained and indescribable.

In my workplace, I’m dealing with the millennial; they want people to give them something enticing or attractive objects, never give burdens or pressures to them, they won’t be happy. As I get more engaged with them, I learn that  . . . oh boy . . . let me wipe my sweat . . . my future children will be the linkers of the millennial, the object-focused human beings. Should I just literally embrace this fact?  . . . No!

SUPPORT SYSTEM

I expect nothing from 2017. All I do is get my gears ready, acknowledging incredible moments in the past and looking forward to awesome adventures in the future. In the present situation, I’ve realized this year has certainly been tough and challenging. I have been through high-level of anxiety and frustration which led me to the feelings of wanting to just retreat from life clutter, searching for a perfect place to soothe my inner soul. I was hard on myself, brimming my mind to get all problems solved. I’ve cried until it got so bitterly painful. Regardless of unpleasant situations I’ve been through, I also had days to rejoice and be grateful for what I have in life. I have established skills that I’m satisfied with where I felt incredibly blessed to have polished them, putting in mind that I am at the right place. I have my small family to cherish every day and peaceful shelter to live in. So far, I’ve done my life the way I understand.

Lately I’ve noticed that I go through each day with a very weak support system. It is indeed humans need strong support system to survive and stay sane every single day. The support system that everyone can get are from church, co-workers, close friends, and family. I attend a very big church, with around 2000 members. With this big amount of congregation, you can hardly have solid fellowship. Let’s say nobody will notice if you don’t attend the church. No doubt, it’s much easier to have fellowship in a small church. Church support system is definitely needed in my family life. Having pastor to visit  once in a week and solid church fellowship may bring much different compare to not having a pastor to visit and a fellowship to ignite spiritual life.

I’m sort of fortunate to have a job that I like with a bonus to stay and work in a very conducive place which I don’t want to trade it for anything. Yet it won’t be settled unless the support system of co-workers is solid because a job will never be done without a solid team and if everyone is busy achieving what they desire for their careers, chaos will happen in a workplace. Fortunately, I could still call my co-workers a team; all we need to do is to have more solid support system; it’s evidently at the weak level.

I have very few friends who are near and dear to my heart whom I miss every day. There were times I wanted to meet them and planned for a sleepover, secluding our husbands (and kids). This kind of desire is difficult to materialize. Marriage life has taken so much from us. We’re sort of parting ways, no chats, no calls, no emails, no texts, I’m just clueless of how they have been doing. When I’m in my lowest moment, friend support system is particularly what I need the most. Conceding the fact that I don’t get friend support system and I fear that I might lose it, someday.

Family is the only support system that I should nurture and reserve. This is the only system that cannot or should not fade away. After getting married, my family gets bigger and wider. I have in mind that my core family will always support me no matter how bad life could be. While on the other side of my husband’s family, I don’t experience having Monster In-laws; everyone is just kind and caring. Nevertheless, in reality, I reach to a point that everyone’s plate in the family is actually full to the brim and there’s no way I could add more burden to them. Somehow my family support system will always be there; but at this time, it hasn’t been stronger than ever.

As of now, I come to a point that looking for a powerful support system in the world is puzzled. The only support system that I can rely on is the Absolute Truth. With that, every moment of what life may present before me this year, I will savor and relish.

UNLOCK THE POWER OF ENOUGH

I should unlock the power of enough and embrace my true happiness which is Jesus.

Morning Routine

Back then, I wasn’t a natural early riser. Getting up early in the morning was such a burden. Even after I got married, I continued having this bad habit; I was sort of lucky that my husband isn’t that demanding in terms of waking up early because he possesses the same habit (LOL), at least I woke up a bit earlier than him. So who cooks and cleans in the morning? I don’t have to worry about household chores; I have some relatives helping me, which somehow I am in the list of the luckiest woman in the world. Duh!!!

On my second year of marriage, I was on the peak of being weary acting as a queen of the house. I set in my mind to become a morning person and be more productive in the morning and get more relaxed in the evening. I was determined to change my morning attitude by creating a morning routine to add vibes and bliss.

My Morning Routine

• To wake me up early, I set my alarm to 4.35 a.m.
• I start my morning by having worship. I wake everyone at home to have worship with me.
• After having a worship, I give myself ten to fifteen minutes to fully compose before I go for a run or jog.
• I usually have 45-to-50-minute exercise. To stay motivated, I always put my music on.
• Coming home from exercise, I do my laundry and clean my room.
• I take a soothing shower.
• I put some light make-up on. Come on, a lady should look fresh and enticing as always, right?
• I prepare my working stuff, managing all my teaching materials and making sure I bring my office keys. Honestly, I’m very weak at keeping my keys. I’m just so forgetful.
• I fill my bottle of water. I should never skip drinking; it helps me stay hydrated.
• I have my light & wholesome morning breakfast; just a glass full of juice and steamed food.
• I join faculty worship for spiritual revival.
• Then I start my work day to earn a dime: Teaching, Managing, and Analyzing.

So, this is basically what I do in the morning. Anyway there are times I skip my routine because I don’t want to be too strict to myself; once in a while I need to have my lazy day where I can just cuddle in bed without doing anything. Up to this point, I am still aware of  guarding myself not to go back to the ‘old me’. Even though it’s not easy to completely change, I’m committed to being determined and persistent in life because at the end of the day, all I see is a new attitude that I’ve established.

Baby-puppy Feelings

My husband and I delight in each other’s flaws, groove on our heart-lifting music, revel in our wondrous imagination, savor each other’s aroma of anger, and even rejoice in paying bills. We are literally enjoying our ‘the two of us’ …

Anger in me

Indeed, I was beyond angry. These thoughts were haunting me because I wasn’t listening to my inner voice:

“What? Is that potato chips you’re munching? Don’t consume that!”

“Eat brown rice not white rice! It contains more carbs.”

“Are you eating noodle again? Think of the consequences.”

“No . . . say no to beef burger and fries! No, please!”

“Don’t fry just boil or steam the food.”

“Don’t blame the weather, even it’s cold just go out and run.”

“Stop being lethargic and do your workout routines!”

Why I was so incredibly mad at myself?

I felt like ‘the persistent me’ has gone by the wind. I remember how hard it was to lose just even a kilo. That seven-month journey of losing weight seemed to be in vain because I returned to be ‘old me’, acting as queen bee at home. I don’t know who to blame, is it the weather or the work stress? In the place where I live, rain comes in routine. This place gets so darn cold, a bone-killing weather, I guess. Well you know when the weather is too cold all you want is just cuddling in your bed with warm blanket that your mother gave. Aside from that, I recently have had hard time sleeping before ten p.m. I end up sleeping at midnight and wake up very late. Research claims that if you sleep late at night, your body will gain more weight. Arrg . . .I hate this research! Not just that, I still have the worst part to tell,  my husband and I spend too much eating unhealthy food, where carbs speak more that ‘vegies.’

Since I was so pissed off, I yesterday and today I punished myself by doing the following things:

-cleaned the entire house, mark this: every corner of the house. You know what it means, right?

-washed clothes with hands (well, I put some on the washing machine, though. I couldn’t bear the cold water)

-raked dried leaves, o gosh. . .this was painfully tiring since I have a large yard to clean.

-Cooked brunch for my husband and I yet I begged my husband to wash all the dirty dishes.

-did some workouts: Jumping Jack, Squat (this kills me!), lunges, step-up, push-up (practicing the easiest way, though), triceps dips, High-knee run, wall-sit.

At the end of the day, I collapsed (not literally), too tired to even breathe and roll my eyes. I know this is an unhealthy and unwise way to do. So the bottom line is I should go back to being persistent in exercising (at least three times a week) and consuming healthy food.

I promise! *finger crossed

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